As I labored for 7 years in finalizing "The Reluctant Healer" the 5 edits, re-edits and redactions of content and on the last editing, dropping 3 whole chapters. The book that Ralph and I originally was to share our combined 100 years of clinical practice, our inclusion of our broad Christian faiths in our work, and was to be "pearls of practice". The publisher chose to make it a story of Ralph's life and work. This betrayal left Ralph saddened and hurt. He did not know how hard I labored to keep our original thoughts on the pages, and for a brief time thought I had not honored his words and intentions. Our friendship easily handled this first doubt, and we remained best friends and co presenters at a number of conventions.
With all the chapters, and 5 versions of our work on file in my computer, I have written two short books, and taken the 3 chapters to an outline with highlights for the interested reader. I wrote the unnamed while being homeless, and on a very speedy schedule. Instead of 7 years the final 7 chapters took 48 hours, but the editing I did probably needs additional attention, Life has been in massive upheaval for these past 8 years, and way too many needs to do everything:
Introduction
The Unnamed
A philosopher’s tale of the seven virtues
My third book, The Reluctant Healer, disappointed both Ralph and me. We were close and dear friends, he an elder mentor as well. He was legend to the older naturopathic doctor’s but very quiet, humble and well mannered. We proposed a book about our naturopathic and spiritual experiences and philosophies to share with others. This never started well, be I did my best to save the original intent through multiple edits. The final edit, dropped the last three chapters that still retained our original intent. The book, proposed as a joint writing, became the story of Ralph. It saddened him, and I felt even worse. The book was beautifully done, but I still had my original promise to Ralph to keep. I tucked away a first chapter of a fictional story of a 16th century monk, who awaits judgment and guaranteed burning at the stake. Within this, and my “all is one” work of a lifetime, revealing the parallels and “nature’s of 7” that are the bedrock of our world’s religions, philosophies and wonderings of the great unknown. I hope Ralph and Gen enjoy, and I hope that it is worthy.
The Unnamed
A philosopher’s tale of the seven virtues
The Dark Morning
I awoke to my mother’s voice, calling me downstairs. My body felt lifeless, heavy as lead and it was all I could do to turn my head to the one window in my room. The dense black clouds, hovering over our village for the past month had one brilliant ray of silver light offering a glimmer of change. Rarely would my mother call me, so I wondered; what more could this life hold, could my sadness be even greater? Lifted only by the desperate hope of that one silver ray, I rose and descended the stairs to greet my mother.
“I’m here mom, what do you need?”
“I need you because you are needed. You must visit and tend to your compadre as he lives out his final days. You are his most cherished friend and the only one who could risk visiting him in jail. The love that many feel for him cannot be shared due to their fear of retaliation. Please do this for pa pa.”
These were the most beautiful words I could possibly imagine. My heart lifted and I tried not to sound too overjoyed as I simply replied “Yes mom, I can do that”. My mother handed me a basket with two biscuits telling me that they were for papa. I headed back to my room, renewed at this sudden gladdening of my heart. Pa pa, my compadre or godfather was my most loved person in the whole world. He was my best friend, my most important teacher and above all else, my spiritual foundation. I was truly lifted by the possibility of spending every day in his presence.
There were two terms used for godfather in my town. The first, the most common was compadre, actually spelled cumpaeder but within the village, the Spanish root compadre or companion was the more common name. The other name used in our village was gossib, as I was his god sibling, and the intimate relationship between siblings and their gossib was the root of the later common word gossip. I preferred the term Geoffrey Chaucer used in “The Parson’s Tale”; fader espirituel or spiritual father. In truth, he was simply papa, and always will be my dear pa pa. I was terribly hard pressed to subdue my excitement, feeling an ironic glee that I could spend my day with a man soon to be executed.
Gossip was undoubtedly the common theme of most godfather and godmother relationships, but not for me and pa pa. He was seen by the people as wise, learned, kind and yes quite eccentric. He was loved. He was soon to be released from his aged flesh by the few who held him in contempt. The Bishops, the church found him to be guilty of heresy. No pardon was expected and with the arrival of the Archbishop, he will oversee the first execution our village has had during my lifetime. People will morn, but they too will have to subdue their emotions for fear of the eyes of the church. Ever since the days of Henry the eight, the term eaves dropper has been common to the people and the many ears of the church were to be feared. I alone could weep, wale if I chose or share any joy or sorrow, for he was my fader espirtuel. The same church that held him in contempt honored the special nature of the cumpaeder and gossib. Still, I could not speak my own contempt for this church, for no one was safe to question its “God-given” authority.
I would fold the two biscuits into a scarf, dress nicely and head off towards the jail where my papa would live out the rest of his life. The dark clouds resumed their complete obstruction of the sun yet that silver ray lived on inside. Neighbors nodded, shared faces of empathy but said nothing as I walked on. It was not far as we are but a small town, and the doorway of the jail was before me. I entered and providence once again greeted my day, my uncle was on shift at the one desk that greeted the rare visitor. “Morning dear, he knows you’re coming. He actually seems happy. You can just walk into his cell as I’ve already unlocked the door.”
I whispered thank you and let myself through the outer door. There, in one of the two cells sat my dear pa pa. As I pulled open the heavy wood door, he looked up as I entered and in soft words as beautiful as a nightingale’s song he said “Bless you my daughter, you have lifted me already. Come in.” After working so hard all morning to subdue my joy, I was ill prepared for the gushing of tears that rained down as I ran into my pa pa’s arms. A salty river flowed down upon my pa pa’s torn and ragged robe as I held tight to all that I loved. For one moment I was free and light, nearly feeling in heaven’s arms. We were one.
I don’t know how long our embrace lasted. As soon as I fell into his arms I felt safe and loved beyond measures. For this fleeting eternity the dark sadness, the fears and the times of absolute numbness were relieved and I was whole. For this moment pa pa was not the origin of my grief but the source of my joy. Funny how words play out, it was only a few days earlier that the prosecutors had called pa pa a sorcerer , part of their accusations of heresy. I sat offended that he be called a pagan witch, for he is the most devout man I have ever known. Yet, as his being seemed a source of strength, joy and gladness, I wondered one brief moment on the meaning of “source”, and how maybe being called a sorcerer was maybe not a terrible injustice.
The Unnamed
Sloth, diligence and joy
Pa pa and I would spend the next seven days, embracing, crying, laughing and waiting. Each morning I would come with a few biscuits in my scarf, a few times managing to smash some sweet fallen fruit or berries, that I found on my morning walk. He was always so calm, kind and uplifting, that you would never know how few days he had left. He had no fear, and while England tossed between Catholic and Church of England dominance, his faith was based solely on the love of Jesus and the heavenly father. He would teach me Romans: 13:8 in English, German, Aramaic, Greek, Latin and Yiddish. Own no man. His obedience was first and always to Jesus, Mother Mary, and God. He gave me the 10-20 varied names for God in the standard bibles. And he spoke truth.
Religion is a word, re-log-on, means to unite as one. He spoke of a Hindu term Yoga, which he says is the same word. By the end of bloody Mary’s rule, Religion’s had become sectarian divisions of the one Holy Bible. He shared that church meant body, our own body, and going to church didn’t require a group or a building, just entering your own spiritual place in prayer, silence and something he called meditation. In his studies, he found the word fasting in the bible over a hundred times. Sometimes it was clearly a time of water only, or in Jesus and Moses’s case a time without even water. What he said is true, was that it also meant times of prayer, and times of meditation in context with other scriptural practices.
His continued faith, he said, began when he was 2 to 3 and felt a presence in his heart and soul that sought higher states still. He said he was drawn to nature and to the star filled heavens above. The more he sat quietly in these companies, the more his heart soared. Soon he became able to close his eyes, close out the world, and find this same crystal cave within. By four, he was so giddy, happy and always humming and dancing that the village wondered and took note. A silver cloud with a black lining came forth, and he was taken from a life of “poverty” into the catholic monastery. His parent’s were relieved at his good fortune, and by he and his noted peculiar affects leaving their home and village. He would never see, or hear from them again.
He had heard about the monastery and Father Downs. At first he had hopes, wonderment and an openness to take higher levels of obedient commitment to walking the path of Jesus. He was excited to learn to read, not the Latin, but middle English, as it would one day be called. Father Downs proved to be true to his reputation as a powerful and sternly demanding member of the clergy. If this had been fully descriptive then Pa Pa, would have certainly learned to read, and have a chance to become a monk, and possible even go further. Wrong.
His first lesson was a whipping. Father Downs would tell other’s that this was a critical first lesson, to learn the consequences of future disobedience. His first studies were in mops, buckets and other inspiring labors. This story sounded so ghastly to me, but he said, he always took joy in his labors. He could, by 5, always go into his crystal cave, silent to the outside world, and find joy and happiness. He always wore a pleasant continence and a smile, even during the whippings and most vile of jobs, he would go within and be happy. Oddly, or not, the more he found joy and Jesus in his labors, the more jealous and angry, the old father became. His lessons now included going without food, sleeping with pigs, and worse of all serving the father’s erotic needs.
By the time he turned seven, the father’s behavior became a focus of public gossip. A Bishop was sent to the monastery and father Down’s was rewarded for his constant service to the church, and made a Bishop in another region. Father Bacon was sent to our community and introduce as new word of God and church for out sins and salvation. The town never saw him set foot out of the monastery again, and he usually had a novice or monk provide the eucharist and mass. Bacon new of Pa Pa before he arrived. His first order, was that Pa Pa, meet him privately in the dining hall.
The Unnamed
Abundant Gluttony and Abundant Abstinence
I didn’t mention that father Bacon was the biggest man anyone had ever seen. Tall only from front to back, he was rumored to have made Henry the Eight seem rather timid in his appetite and consumptions. If nothing else, the fact that, at least for one time, he could carry that much of a load on two legs, he must be very, very strong. He breathed heavy, he snorted, he smelled and his beard and clothes were covered with particles of food, and stains of wine. He was our villages new voice of the church.
By seven, my Pa Pa had found his reading lessons with an old monk, who felt great compassion and empathy for the joyful whipping boy. He took to all languages like a duck to water. If he’d sunk, he could have been burned as a witch. He had begun an in-depth study of the Bible, and like languages, it flowed and it stayed. His memory was as close to perfect as a human can ever imagine. He could remember tears in every bible, which pages had wine drops on them, but more importantly he now new the church bible as an oral tradition, start to finish. Hoping to enter into the monastery, he was almost anxious to meet the new father. When told he was to meet privately in the dining hall, he was perplexed, or mis prism(ed) as they spoke in the village.
Daydreaming of a younger, kinder and more comely appearance than father Downs, he was horrified with the form he encountered. The father was seated at the end of the biggest table Pa Pa had ever seen. It was wider than an ox-cart and four times as long. The father’s shadowy figure spanned the entire width of the table. As Pa Pa began too see better in the candle lit hall, he saw platters of food, flesh and animals of all kinds, stews, red apples and many flasks of wine. The father didn’t even look up as Pa Pa stood in the doorway.
Father Bacon alternated from having two pieces of meat, one in each hand to having a glass of wine in one, and flesh in the other. His sleeves were his wipe cloth, which he rarely felt the need to employ. Finally Pa Pa announced his arrival by saying “Holy father, I have come as you requested”. After a long pause, a few grunts and snorts, the father reached out to a flask and drank like he had been in the desert for a week. Using his sleeve, he looked up and said: I asked that you come more than twenty minutes ago. I had been warned that you were trouble. You will go have brother Simeon give you twenty lashes, and you better be fast this time, you Satan filled miscreant. Pa Pa knew he wasn’t satan filled and he knew the meaning of the word miscreant, and was sure the new father only new how to curse it out of his fetid mouth. He’d been twenty minutes to clean up as fast as possible, he would not miss a step in the round trip reward.
Pa Pa had only seen brother Simeon one time, from the back, from afar. No one he did get to talk with ever mentioned Simeon’s name. He raced to brother Simeon’s room and knocked on the door. He entered and the brother, without looking up said, I have been expecting this pleasure for a long time.
As he turned, rose and revealed his face, Pa Pa said he experience chills down his spine and fear for the first and only time in his life. No amount of obedience, labors or joy, readings, study and faith in the word and in Jesus could prepare him for this man’s dark and sinister being. Pa Pa immediately went to church to see the face of Jesus and restore his courage. He was back before the Simeon uttered his next words. “how many lashes, pray tell?” Twenty, Pa Pa replied. A smile that could have turned Methusula to stone raised up as he said, that equals sixty in my chambers. Sixty lashes takes a lot longer than twenty, so it was some time before Pa Pa returned to the dining hall.
Father Bacon was face down on the table, a bowl of stew having spilled onto his roost, and Pa Pa had to go try to wake him. It took but an instant, as his first gentle touch and soft word’s, “Father I have returned” caused the blob of a human to jump up. Not to his feet mind you, but to jump up to sitting. Why you filthy, bastard swine, how dare you keep me waiting. His eyes, already red and bloodshot burned of a hot iron nature and he almost was able to grab my Pa Pa. He had to catch himself to keep from falling out of his chair, but as he caught his breath he yelled, thirty lashes now, come back and wait outside my sleeping chambers.
Pa Pa, never considered lying about how many lashes were to be multiplied, and somehow he made it home to the pigs chambers and collapsed for a few hours. He rarely daydreamed, but he considered dreams and the pre and post sleep reveries as sacred communication. He says that he doesn’t know how long he slept, but he was brought awake, by a soft, but powerful woman’s voice saying, Its time. Wake and return to the chambers. He says he sprung up, feeling no pains nor sensing any injury. His blood stained rags and many, many wounds spoke differently.
He arrived at father Bacon’s chambers just as a servant came out the door and said, father Bacon wants your immediate presence. He entered and found the father sitting up in his bed. A mountain of flesh almost made his face disappear. He grunted and snorted, spit and gagged for a while and then said quite unaffected, I see you got a good lesson of obedience last night. You will learn much under me as well. I have some plans for you and you better take it better than my simple demands of last night. Pa Pa said his stomach seized up, and he felt immediate pain.
The plan was that Pa Pa deliver as much food and wine as possible every day, all day. He was to clean, help put to bed and do whatever the good father demanded. The stomach pain soon included the purging of blood, and true to the good book, Pa Pa started a water fast. Every day he felt better, and the tasks again became labors of love and joy. Bacon soon became so lazy that meals would be placed on a suspended table above his mountainous belly, in bed of course. Finally, it was feeding the good father from the side. Once Bacon was bed bound, lashes ceased and sleeping more and more, Pa Pa found true joys in his one time of freedom in the monastery.
After only a few weeks of the fast, his stomach was healthy, and he day dreamed of an ever more sleeping and easy to serve father. It turned out that the good father’s days were numbered, and a few weeks after the fast, Bacon past.
Not daring to day dream about who might serve next, the news came quickly. From the very first, the father had given his seal to brother Simeon. Simeon it seems thought only of himself, and quickly planned his revival. His revival it seems, was that he would write to the Archbishop as Bacon, constantly praising brother Simeon. It worked. The Archbishop immediate sent word that brother Simeon was the new word of God and church for our monastery. Hallelujah.
The Unnamed
Sweet Chastity and wicked Lust
Pa Pa wasn’t surprised at all, to find that brother Simeon was now father Simeon. It almost was a relief. Simeon had already beaten him close to death a number of times, held him under water until he would barely be able to stop coughing and of course made him eat rotten foods, just to laugh at the initial gagging and vomiting. By about a week, he was able to hid the disgust and eat the foods with a smile, hidden in his private church chambers. What more could he do, that he hadn’t already done. Never ask a question, when you might not enjoy the answer.
Simeon’s desire and lust for power had been so great, for so long, that his time of power was like a keg of black powder ready to explode. His plans for Pa Pa were long anticipated punishments. He was no fool, and he knew what few pleasures Pa Pa held in the monastery. His first dictate was that no brother should ever talk to, with or in the presence of Pa Pa. He was to remain with the pigs, unless and until summoned. Father Simeon kew that Pa Pa could read, but made the summons be in the nature of being splashed with urine, splattered with dung or spit upon. Each explained one time by the father, and each intended to disgust beyond belief. The last was that Pa Pa should vow never to open a book, parchment or read anything again.
Simeon was so anticipating the moment that Pa Pa would receive this news. His body was alive with a primal energy that brought a canine salivation and tightening of his teeth as he felt a mounting desire to leap upon Pa Pa, tearing him apart and devouring his flesh. All the other brother felt this rising and seething energy. Many said they were reminded of the tales of horses pulling the chariots through the stadium filled with Christian martyrs. Pa Pa showed no emotion when given the new rules. The energy of Simeon changed from a ferocious beast to instant fear.
This wasn’t how his punishments were to be greeted. Pa Pa was supposed to be devastated, and yet he raised his head, with a gleaming smile and said “as you say, I shall obey”. For the first time, Simeon looked around at the other monks and saw their disgust in their eyes and silence. What a grand coronation, what an unacceptable disrespect by his former brothers. He would make new plans and he would be victorious. Wrong. He did make new plans, but he was far from victorious.
The brothers would make plans too. The urine was often water, the dung often mud. The spit occasionally hit his feet, but not often. He lived with the pigs, so he always smelled of urine and dung. Pa Pa didn’t get to read, but the brothers hummed Gregorian chants that Pa Pa loved; whenever the father was safely away.
Simeon never wanted to lead a Mass, and never studied the Bible. How he got to power makes on wonder. Gossip held, that he bought his ladder. It was 500 years since the Catholic synod to end Simony, but money still bought great favors in the church. Not interested in his vespers, he became a common visitor to the taverns and less respectable establishments. His excesses were legend, his impact on his monastery minimal. Pa Pa got to commune with the animals, and learned so much about God’s beauty of nature. From start to finish, his obedient chastity was an antidote to the evil lust of father Simeon.
Simeon knew that as long as his monastery sent proper taxes and tithings to the Archbishop, he had no worries. Too bad his gluttony accompanied his lust, for being killed, drunk and bombastic with a pouch of gold, that will get you replaced. Pa Pa told me that he was sorry it took so short. At least the next father would be someone new.
The Unnamed
Kindness and Compassion, Anger and Fear
Father Benjamen was angry from the start. He was angry that he was sent to our monastery and so he was angry at Pa Pa, the rebel, who changed his plan to become a Bishop. By-the-way, he had been an angry man for many years. No one had ever heard of him, and he gave no expressions, or visual signs of any emotion. At first, the brothers thought this might be the deep waters that they had been praying for. His stoic and emotionless expressions lasted for many weeks. His talks were brief, to the point and very simple at first. His Masses were exactly as taught in monasteries, and no deep our profound revelations ever came forth.
He would retire to his chambers with candle and Bible for hours many times a day. Well studied, he never spoke of his epiphanies or any deeper word of the Bible. The brothers began to sense that deepness and profundity were not the base of his stoic continence. Then it happened. One day, at Mass, father Benjamin made a mistake in his Latin representation of a very important message found in first Timmothy. The eldest brother failed to ignore this mistake, and tried to get the father’s attention. He got the father’s attention, his wrath, and the father immediately rushed over with a candle holder, swung it violently, tearing out big sections of his cheeks and lips. He turned to the gathered brothers and threatened that if anyone ever rebuked him again, he would not be so restrained.
The brother’s were horrified, but my Pa Pa, he saw clearly. It was not anger, but fear that struck out in violence. He lived in constant fear of “discovery”. Pa Pa used the word discovery, when he was talking about all humans being imperfect and sinful, forgiven by Christ, but not feeling forgiven. The shame of this lack of faith in the sacrifice, sustained either hardens the heart, or leads to the discovery of forgiveness and salvation. The new father hid in fear and shame, and when the tinniest flaw was revealed, the vacuum of shame, in his tea pot, sucked all the kindness away, and only a scared beast was left. Pa Pa said he immediately felt compassion for the new father.
Pa Pa rarely asked questions of the monks, and they rarely asked any meaningful questions of him, though at any time he might have saved any one of them from years of ignorance. The brothers almost ceased speaking with each other, for fear of the wrong words reaching father Benjamin. The ban on speaking to Pa Pa, ended with father Simeon’s death. Finally, Pa Pa asked one of the brothers if he could offer to bring tea each night to the father, and ask if he has any needs or requests. The whipping boy of the past seemed the perfect person to test the water’s of the new voice of the church. They agreed, and even offered to prepare the tea for Pa Pa to deliver.
Pa Pa says his compassion brought ease to approaching the chamber door, and knocking was easy as well. The flat voice of the father replied, identify who you are and why you are here. “Your Holiness, I am no one, but I have brought you some tea, should you like some before bed”. Come in, if you must, he replied, not showing any care that it was me. “Your Holiness”, Pa Pa, says he almost stuttered to show fear and respect to the father, “Your Holiness, I mean no disrespect, but in a dream, an angelic voice told me to ask the brothers if I could serve you”. “An angelic voice?, were you sore afraid?”.
Pa Pa had his opening; “forgive me your Holiness, not thunderous like those guiding the wise men, but soft, tender, and like a kind grandmother”. For the first time, Ben’s tight face relaxed. Without taking in a deep breath, he exhaled so deeply, and his shoulders loosened and dropped. “My son, I thank you for your service and obedience to this angelic voice.” I would welcome you to bring me tea every night. Tell me any other angelic dreams, and I might be able to help you understand”. Pa Pa always smiled, so the humor of this rationalization went unnoticed and unspoken. For the first time in his adult life, this fearful child, wanting a mothers comfort, felt compassion and kindness, and his fear vanished for this moment.
The way loving kindness works is powerful, and it seems to not rely upon time or space. It was less than a moon, when Pa Pa’s compassion and love placed a light within the father. His fear was gone, his anger was gone, he felt courageous, but at the same time gentle kindness was his state. The antidote to fear is love, the antidote to anger is kindness, and when both antidotes arrive, the heart moves from dreaming of the heavens, while standing on the earth below, to standing on the earth and reaching for the heavens. Pa Pa said that this heart fermement between the earth and heavens is similar in many non Christian religions, and is represented by the tree of life in the Jewish reach for heaven. He says climbing a ladder is hard, when gluttony, laziness lust and anger are holding you down. Once you rise above these, the sky is the limit.
Once he learned to love himself, father Benjamin gave up the collar, and became a fisherman. His new found faith had seeded a growth in the attendance at Mass, tithings were up, and the Archbishop was not pleased to see Benjamin leave. He knew that a stoic tempest had helped, so he would find the closest replace to Benjamin he could.
The Unnamed
Envy and Gratitude
The Archbishop chose father Benjamin’s closest friend in the seminary. He seemed identical, stoic, closed and stern. Father Jonah was a forth generation priest. He knew his destiny from the earliest age, and was both a consumed student of the Holy Bible and very intelligent. He had been, like father Benjamin, pursing not only becoming a bishop, but also an archbishop or even higher. He was not at all satisfied with the speed of his climb, and the assignment to such a lowly monastery was almost too much for him to take.
Only the brother’s and the village knew of the father’s epiphany and redemption of faith. Jonah came in, ready for bear. He would show a more stoic, more emotionless and more stern continence than Benjamin ever could. He wasn’t Benjamin by a long shot, nor was his stoic nature due to fear or expressed in anger. His hidden self, came from envy and coveting of almost everything he didn’t have. If power or wealth had been his envy, it might be called greed, but his envy came from a desire to be recognized and considered very important. So studied in the bible, so intelligent, yet so ignorant of its message.
His family heritage could have, should have and would have him making at least Bishop by now, but he took short cuts every time he thought he could get away with it. At first, his family status assured a forgive and forget regularity in his predictable blunders of getting away with all sorts of mischievous plans. Even copying classmates papers, cheating on exams and paying for papers, and then other monks to copy in different calligraphy. All these were forgiven, but when he started sabotaging other students works and bearing false witness he was reprimanded by lack of promotion, which was certainly not called for in his eyes. He would force the village to give more and more tithing for the Archbishop, so that he could quickly move on and up.
One thing about poor villages in this time, is that money is very rare and hard to come by. Jonah not only reduced Mass attendance, but tithing went down as well. He found himself in a whale of a predicament. Simple solution for a wealthy son, simply send more than before and say it came from the offertory. It seemed to please the Archbishop so much that in gratitude, he planned to attend the following Mass. Whoops, something about best laid plans?
Father Jonah was even deeper into this predicament. How could he possibly fill the pews. How could so few contribute as much as he had been sending back to the church? Benjamin and Simeon would have started planning an elaborate ruse. Jonah was without a clue of what to do. He called all the brothers, even Pa Pa to the dining hall, to explain his troubles and to see if anyone had any suggestions. Up to this moment, the only time he had ever asked for help, was for his father to once again bail him out of a bad situation.
Jonah was truly at the end of his rope. Given a clear direction from early childhood, he chose a different destination. All of his actions were seen from on high, but so many were revealed by others, that his rope was nearly unraveled. Pa Pa says that when you find yourself at the end of the rope, that is where God reaches down to lift you up. Surrender or the battle will end in defeat. He found a ray of light by reaching out and angels of mercy were already attending to this change. The brothers gathered in the hall, and listened to his penitent apologies and asking for help. The brother’s were as blind as the Archbishop and felt his true problem must be fear and anger. Only Pa Pa saw the truth.
Countless ideas and suggestions were put forth, but not a single one had any merit. After a few hours the brother’s were joining Jonah in feelings of hopelessness and despair. Pa Pa had remained silent this entire time. The moment was now. “Excuse me, your Holiness”. The brothers turned toward Pa Pa, and immediately knew. With absolute silence the elder brother said, Father, this is the boy who sat with Benjamin for weeks, and Benjamin came out happy and overjoyed, just with tea and conversation. Maybe we should all listen. Pa Pa chuckled inside as the brother forgot to mention prayer and the holy spirit.
In many ways, this was Pa Pa’s spiritual initiation into a higher church. He was asked to give the word. His smile had grown these past few years, and many said, that at night, they could see a white light surrounding his body. Your Holiness, I pray that I do not offend, and ask that you take these words and thoughts with my word that they come from compassion, love and kindness.
Job had friends that told him that his troubles stemmed from disobedience. You have chosen friends who tell you that your troubles stem from bad luck. You’ve always known in your heart that you could act and do better, but you have always been impatient. If this is not accurate please tell me, so that I can return to silence.
Jonah was speechless to hear such truth, so exactly. “No my son, you are absolutely accurate. Continue please.”
“Your Holiness, many people have felt pain watching you continually turn your rudder from obedience to Nimrod rebelliousness. That tower didn’t do very well, now did it? When you begin to deceive, you begin to become entangled in the lies, and knots made with more lies, never untangle without asking for help. Asking for help,means admitting that you are not God, or like Nimrod, wanting to wrestle God for his thrown. Taking God into your life means, you never are for want, and find acceptance in the fruits of your labors and the blessings of our father’s timeline.
The Archbishop is coming out here, not for your additional small tithing, but because he is overjoyed to think that you have finally seen the light. He doesn’t care about the size of the congregation, he cares about you taking the right path from here on out. Tell him the truth. Envy, impatience and short cuts were your demon’s and the spirit has removed them. Practice gratitude for every breath, for every moment, and with this gratitude the Bishop will only see good. You are finally ready for your voyage of life, and you will very soon be on your way to where-ever the good Lord sends you.”
The Archbishop and Jonah’s father arrived that Mass, and Jonah got a ride home with the two in their heavenly, decadent coach.
The Unnamed
Greed, Liberality, Service and Liberation
By the time that word got around of Bishop Jonah’s salvation at our monastery, we were beginning to get quite a good reputation. Other than father Simeon’s unfortunate accident, good things happened to priest’s who took on the head position at our monastery. This brought the most tumultuous and briefest position yet.
A Bishop from Germany sought appointment through the vatican, and leaped in as Bishop Marz, the new church voice of God. Like the father before him, he was impatient for all things. He never must have read in Proverbs, that: “he who makes haste to make wealth shall be punished.” He arrived with a gaudy carriage, gold features, four very large horses pulling and about five carriages of his needed adornments. A group of about forty servants and serfs walked a good distance behind the carriages, as knights led and followed behind. Servants blew horns as he got out, and every time he came out in the public.
He never set out to serve the Lord, and his trip to our monastery was simply to get what he could, while the getting was good. He didn’t know what his rewards would be, but expected favor almost immediately as if he were a Calvinist and not a Catholic. The brothers were not impressed in the least. The villager’s acted just like they did with every other father; keep you head low, show respect and get out of the road when the horses race by. In his head, he visioned a hero’s welcome and immediate elevation within the church. Wrong again. The arc of life, always veers toward the truth. The truth is God. Obedience has great reward, disobedience has tragic consequences when not repented. You cannot truly follow Christ and be disobedient to God.
The brothers were beginning to tire of this endless cycle of unholy men. Pa Pa was overjoyed. He now was beginning to prophesy, and he saw the path of this next redemption. Pa Pa says the bigger they are, the harder they fall, which means they fall faster as well. Bishop Marz wanted to springboard and take everything he could grab along to the next higher castle or church. Pa Pa says there is never an end to this hunger for wealth, power fame or fortune. Happiness will never be found in accumulating on earth, that which you leave on earth. In fact the priests over time have considered greed to be one of the most dangerous sins of man. Hermes, the Egyptian High Priest said the antidote to greed is liberality, give everything away, possessions that is, and then you can pass through the gates of heaven. As he shared this 6th deadly sin’s concurrence with the 7 natures of other faiths, he added that rarely can a wealthy man be convinced of his burdens and truly give back to man, what is man and mother earth, and give unto the Lord.
I asked Pa Pa, how this came to be such a quick turnaround if the rich on earth rarely release their earthly burdens. I’d never seen a smile like the one Pa Pa gave. Its hard to put in word’s, but probably the smile of a cat, sure it’s about to eat a canary. “Very simple, God’s spirit, the power gifted to son of man to be a vessel for the holy spirit and deep proper prayer for salvation and the agreement to receive. I knew him to be possessed. I could hear voices and hissing sounds emanating from his body, though others heard only silence. So, I knowing that the brothers couldn't really help or understand, and recognizing the gifts I have receive through prayer and fasting, I asked that “the proper words come from me to do my father’s will.”
It was so simple, he never gave a first Mass. Sometimes, when stubbornness wears eternal, its not worth the wait for the unexpected to happen. He knew of me, he’d sent spies to get to the truth of this monastery’s miraculous happenings. I walked up, gave reverence, and asked: Your Holiness, would you like to have me quickly help you to find your true life destiny and purpose? He focused on quickly and destiny, the opening came when he didn’t hear the words true and purpose. His true purpose laid silent within and the demons within never heard the threat. He agreed to look toward the light and let me help. My help is as a servant and vessel of the Lord. Our monastery has volumes of metaphysical and spiritual prayers to expel or exorcise demons. In closing his eyes, the only light he saw came from above, the only light the demons saw, was the gold, mirrors and blue glass of the dining hall. I took him into breath, aligned the Holy spirit through Jesus and became both the chaser and the eliminator of the demons.
I felt them beginning to slip away from their holds, and I felt them passing through my vessel. When all was clear, he opened his eyes, and saw a new world. Color, life, and he fell to his knees crying in joy. It was almost no time before he cast off his bishops clothing and his last words were that he was taking a vow of silence, seeking poverty and service to those in greater need. In the eyes of the angels, he had gained the gold found in the entry through the gates of heaven.” Oh, he did ask to liberate all servants and seed them and his surfs with adequate money for two years, the rest, made our’s the wealthiest monastery in the region.
Again, the monastery awaited a new father.
The Unnamed
Pride, Humility and the Upper School
The last father is the very same one that put Pa Pa in jail. Pa Pa says that of the seven deadly sins, the first which is sloth or laziness, and the seventh which is pride are the most challenging to release, and that many take quite a few life-times to move beyond these frozen states. Bishop Stephen, which he constantly reminds us, literally means Bishop King, and he sure acts like one. He brags constantly about his feats and accomplishments, which Pa Pa says is simply a shadow cast by extreme insecurity. He says the biggest braggarts fall apart if even one thread is seen as unraveled by the masses.
We are all put here in God’s image, all sinners, all imperfect and all saved through the path of loving kindness, Jesus is the way of Catholics and Protestants, and his way, loving kindness, forgiveness, obedience to the father, being willing to give your life to save a brother. Pa Pa says the heavens are filled with Jesus path followers, who never heard the name Jesus, nor heard of the Holy Bible. Our father, through Jesus, reveals the way to those who seek. The way is found through sacredly inspired words in all nations, all times and all peoples. Being a “Christian” does not give you a “get out of obedience card” like monopoly. Living a true Christian life leads you to an eternal glory.
Those are my best words, as Pa Pa told me of his studies into the spiritual, mystic and metaphysical practices of most religions and cultures. He told me that when gifted from above, steadfast in obedience, we become a vehicle of the spiritual powers, we can do whatever God wills of us, even move mountains. He told me stories about people who learned “magical” incantations and thought themselves powerful, but came down hard and fast, as they did not protect themselves from disobedient consequences. He went on to say the jaws of the occult are a terrible thing. He makes certain to always state, “only if it is thy will father”. That is a safety practice to keep focus on good, and God’s way. There exists stories about circles of salt and the like, which he says are more like parables. As you, a human, tap into the spiritual world, you must look 360 degrees at the many possible ripples and waves of influence this act might initiate. Without regard for all, good intentions can result in the worst of consequences.
Pa Pa says he could easily make people like Stephen shrink in shame, but that is not for man to decide, and he said that he knows he is to joyfully await the Archbishops arrival and sentencing. One last embrace and moment with Pa Pa, as the Archbishop arrives tomorrow morning and the fire is already being stoked for the burning.
The Unnamed
Endings and New Beginnings
The Archbishop arrived with a parade of carriages, mounted knights, two black head cloaked be-headers, just for pomp and circumstance. A line of monks followed the carriages and servants and serfs followed well behind the monks. Bishop Stephen awaited the arrival on the steps of the church, sitting in a very high backed, thrown-like chair, with red carpet, soldiers at attention and flower petrels spread over the path between his thrown, and the carriage door of the Archbishop.
Horns and trumpets, the two met with the Bishop kissing the hand of the Archbishop. The spoke briefly, and then the Archbishop began slowly shaking his head, a scowl on his face and looking back and forth between Stephen and Pa Pa. With the wave of the Archbishop’s hand, servants quickly put up a large regal tent, and the Archbishop, Steven and three other priests entered and closed the door. It was less that ten minutes, when the Archbishop, Steven and the three priests came back out into the square. The archbishop handed a parchment to the town cryer, who pronounced:
“The accused is found guilty of heresy, sorcery, witchcraft and gross disobedience to the authority of the church. Pa Pa smiled and looked happier than I have ever seen him. His work and life was complete, and both he and I knew that he was one of the most devout disciples of Christ, to ever walk the ground in England.”
My mother had worked tirelessly and pleaded with friend and neighbors to help raise a gift to the bishop in exchange for my being able to touch and kiss Pa Pa’s hand one last time. No one thought I would be able to do this, but it was my mom’s last best effort.
The fire was still low as they brought Pa Pa to burn. His smile and eyes still illuminated the heavens. One of the priests, a one time reading tutor, walked up to the Archbishop and whispered something in his ear. The Archbishop got the slightest little smile of compassion, and he pointed directly at me. “Come here little one”, he said.
I walked up trembling and shaking and fearful that my visits had brought me to be accused. “My little angel”, this huge man said, in such a kindly voice. “I hear from my priest that you provided comfort and support for your godfather, as he awaited his judgement. You did this religiously, every morning and stayed until dusk, and you did this knowing that you were putting yourself at risk…..That kind of love and courage is the greatest sign of devotion to Jesus Christ our Lord. You have asked, and I grant you one last touch of your godfather’s hand. The same priest asks that he might carry you safely up through the fire.”
The old priest lifted me up, looking vaguely familiar somehow, his cradle carry was like being held by my mother. I felt tremendous safety and joy. As we approached Pa Pa, I felt myself being drawn into his eyes, and for a brief, eternal moment, I entered into his crystal cave. His arms were bound to his side, but he lifted his right hand toward me, and said “grant that you will receive this gift, should it be the will of our father”. I said I would. I touched him, barely reaching his palm, but a flow of indescribable joy rushed up my arm and flooded my entire being. His voice came into my inner ear, saying I love you, I have always loved you and I always will love you. I will always be there for you, and his body fell limp. The priest backed me down and the fire was stoked. Then the priest whispered in my ear, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do”.My beautiful godfather’s body, stood surrounded by fire, until the stake burned up and his body fell upon the hottest coals of the fire. More and more wood was added to start his body to burn, but his skin looked untouched for more that 24 hours.
The next morning when the priests and Bishops arrived, the body remained untouched while the poor guards were exhausted from piling more wood all night long. The Archbishop showed disdain and impatience as he wanted to return to his comfy chair at home. Stephen, with his sins of profound pride, appeared to faint, though he never woke up. Two priest’s looked confused and also in awe, and one priest looked gleaming light with a smile that was that of my dear Pa Pa, At noon, by the square sun dial, everyone swears that Pa Pa’s body just vanished.
It was at that moment, that Pa Pa’s voice spoke within me. My little angle, remember this and you will withstand the fires of man. “Never expect that you are owed, or deserve anything in you life, and always, always be grateful for anything you receive,”
Pa Pa lives on in me, and only that one priest, Pa Pa and I truly know where he went that fine day at noon.
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